what did you want to be when you grew up?

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  • Published 20220127
  • ISBN: 978-1-92221-65-8
  • Extent: 264pp
  • Paperback (234 x 153mm), eBook

dad, did you ever want to live in a treehouse with a monkey butler? wear a helmet made of an ice-cream container? hoon across a sun-bleached bonnet like a slip and slide? rob a bank with an exploding umbrella? be as small as a toy soldier? burn holes in your enemies with your red-hot- pincers? eat twelve weet-bix for breakfast and shit out a comic-book printing press?

dad, did you dream of standing as tall as a skyscraper? did you hope to tickle clouds like a helicopter? when you first saw a train did you ask it directions to the altar? when you cocked your hand into a pistol did it quiver? when you heard floorboards creak did you wait for a howdy or dive for cover? how hard can you ride into the sunset before you realise your body is on fire?

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The pool

Mum always says to me, you know what he’s like – your father. As if the old man is my responsibility and mine alone. Little wonder that legacy and liable have the same number of syllables. Of course I know what he’s like…so much so that I’m not even remotely surprised when one afternoon I hop off the school bus and come wandering inside with my little brother Jeremy in tow to find a big bald bloke sitting cross-legged at the dining table blabbering on about fibre glass this, solar heating that. On the table in front of Dad, a corona of shiny brochures.
‘We’re getting a pool, sons!’ Dad winks at Jeremy.

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