Calcutta is a big, middle-class, air-conditioned city. My publisher′s chauffeur was waiting for me at the airport. Through the tinted windows of the sedan, the vast traffic jams warned me that, whether I liked it or not, things could get complicated in the city of Calcutta. But otherwise it was enchanting; I had a dream welcome, and an amazing apartment lent to me by my publisher. She was heading for a spa in Switzerland.

I wanted to take a bath in the jacuzzi on the terrace, but she advised me not to – the bacteria count was high. A few simple precautions would allow me to best enjoy Calcutta: never drink the tap water, and use the toilets as sparingly as possible.