dad, did you ever want to live in a treehouse with a monkey butler? wear a helmet made of an ice-cream container? hoon across a sun-bleached bonnet like a slip and slide? rob a bank with an exploding umbrella? be as small as a toy soldier? burn holes in your enemies with your red-hot- pincers? eat twelve weet-bix for breakfast and shit out a comic-book printing press?

dad, did you dream of standing as tall as a skyscraper? did you hope to tickle clouds like a helicopter? when you first saw a train did you ask it directions to the altar? when you cocked your hand into a pistol did it quiver? when you heard floorboards creak did you wait for a howdy or dive for cover? how hard can you ride into the sunset before you realise your body is on fire?