THERE ARE SMALL things that have changed since I was told I have cancer.

My mother, with whom I’m very close but in a non-­sentimental kind of way, has started to send me emojis in her text messages – something she’s never done before. She’s not an effusive, emoji-­using person, and I like and admire that about her. The expanding pink hearts at the end of her messages feel out of place. She has also started to text things like You have a beautiful smile in response to photos I’ve sent her – again, completely out of character, and worrying because to behave out of character means that something has happened to knock you out of yourself.