‘LET BYGONES BE bygones!’ Mum and Dad said to me, speaking over each other. Their faces shared their determination to have the last say on the matter. The afternoon light was fading and our teas were turning cold. My parents and I had been shouting at each other for the past hour, debating whether Indonesia should apologise to the victims of the 1965 communist purge or not.

Like some Indonesians who lived through the massacre of nearly one million people that brought Suharto to power, my parents are adverse to the idea of a national apology and reconciliation for the crimes of 1965.