WHY ARE DEMOCRATIC nations – even the nice ones – suddenly super openly right-wing and keen to bump uglies with fascists? Did I miss the memo where we stopped believing in all the good stuff and re-upped all the nasty prejudice, rhetoric and phobias that (call me naive) I thought we’d agreed were bad? Despite the Trump presidency livestreaming itself as a fable against nationalistic populism and trusting economically incontinent orange dudes, on we march (in formation, possibly wearing brown shirts). America’s Naranja Wanker-in-Chief has emboldened a cavalcade of conservatives, enabled by scads of tech bros and their acolytes, whose noise and reach trump decency and expertise. Nothing’s taboo: say what you like, move fast, break things. What if the arc of history doesn’t bend towards justice? What if our optimism was wholly misplaced? In the words of Remember Monday, what the hell just happened? I understand that people don’t want to raw dog their way through whatever it is the world is doing right now, but turning right and blaming others feels like a fast track to torching the progressive experiment. I fear that conservatism is the gateway drug to full-blown fascism. 

Before we railed on Katy Perry for her love of astrology, we piled on her lipstick lesbianism. Pseudo-sapphics copped a lot of shit – maybe we should shovel some of it onto the pseudo-socialists. Evidently, there were plenty of liberal cosplayers who are now back in their weekday clothes and killing it at the (government) office. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this political puddle is broadly divided along gender lines. I’m not saying there aren’t plenty of women desperate to cede autonomy of their uteruses and see their husbands deported but that there’s a discernible split between guys and dolls. Were men only ever wearing a performative hairpiece? Is it okay to be repulsed by their now extremely visible tonsure? 

Miserably, the kids are not alright either. Younger Gen Z men who are currently being infected by the manosphere and its podlodytes never even got to pretend to be liberally minded. Recent data suggests that the views of men and women are in conflict – women have remained largely liberal, whereas some young men may be more conservative in their outlook than their dads! 

SO, BACK TO World War G, where angry feminists rage against conservative male podcasters: can women get a refund on the husbands they married in good faith, thinking they were getting someone vaguely liberal? Could this be the new ‘irreconcilable differences’? Your Honour, I married this man because he tucked a copy of The Big Issue under his arm on our first date and was sporting a man bun. I can’t live like this! The soyboys have shaved their hipster beards (and their heads), picked up a turkey leg and claimed that alleged rapist and human trafficker Andrew Tate ‘does have a point’. 

What the actual fascism? Why have people folded so quickly when we were seemingly doing a little better in Project Humanity? Presumably, conservatism and its constituent parts appeal because they absolve individuals of responsibility and leaders (elected or otherwise) of accountability. Trump tanked the economy and is still blaming DEI initiatives and undocumented migrants: top-drawer hard-right legerdemain. Conservatism is not limited to dudes, but there’s a definite sense of small dick energy. Perhaps I’m fanning the flames of the culture wars, but everywhere I look, there are (mostly unqualified) white guys running things (badly, frequently through emojis.) Rooms of ‘important’ people are once again full of old, white, male faces. Maybe it’s because I’m a no-tail, but I feel like there’s a very unhealthy masculine vibe going on right now. 

I remember the good times when America had a real boner for policing people who might be faintly socialist in their thinking – when they insisted on going to town on ‘others’ for spurious reasons but at least gave a rat’s arse about appearances. Owing to their cultural and political hegemony, they were indulged by the rest of the world as a young democracy who couldn’t always be expected to make good choices. Trump is the bad boyfriend the electorate just can’t quit despite the bruises, the financial toll, and the fact that – by any sensible metric – the man is unfit for office. 

Fascist hobbies that had fallen out of fashion are currently back in vogue – everything from controlling women’s reproductive rights, banning books and persecuting the press (up to and including attacking the journalist your Secretary of Defense added to the group chat). To riff on Niemöller, first they came with a revanchist invader, then they got down to the libraries. Now we have Inheritors Anonymous running/ruining the economy – because what could possibly go wrong when you allow a spoilt rich kid to have the keys to the stock markets? In tearing up the political playbook, the right wing has destabilised more than I care to think about and emboldened some horrifically pernicious ideals. As someone who’s terminally puerile, this pains me to suggest, but we need some grown-ups in the room. 

A recent study out of the University of Minnesota Twin Cities determined that ‘intelligence is correlated with a range of left-wing and liberal political beliefs’. While some intelligence is heritable, it’s safe to say that most is learnt through the liberalising magic of education. This liberalising magic may explain the Trump administration’s proclivity for book banning, as well as their decision to take on Harvard. 

As Bertrand Russell foretold, I’m worryingly fascinated. On reading the White House fact sheet ‘President Donald J. Trump Restores Truth and Sanity to American History’, my ear sank towards my shoulder and I gaped, slack-jawed and dribbling, at what my eyes were telling me was real, in spite of my inability to compute it. (Also, genuine question: how does one implement an ‘anti-American ideology’ at a zoo?) It’s not just America succumbing to this affliction. It seems that the fascist contagion has gone global. The UK’s ‘Stop the Brown People’ – sorry, ‘Stop the Boats’ – rhetoric is giving Nuremberg Rally vibes. And as for Germany’s ‘Alice für Deutschland’… nice try, guys. German is second only to French in its ability to pull off a pun. Cordon sanitaires are falling faster than the stock markets. 

UNFORTUNATELY, THE AUSTRALIAN right wing is also gaining political ground. It’s not easy to remain hopeful when too many souls are being sucked into the manosphere or snitching on their neighbours for immigration violations, but there is some light at the end of the tunnel. Look, I’m as surprised as anyone to be writing that Albanese’s victory at the 2025 polling booths brought me a sense of relief. It’s possible this win says more about the times in which we’re living than Albanese’s political acumen, but frankly, I’ll take it. What it reveals, I hope, is that there’s still political appetite for leaders who aren’t total dicks. 

As Tony Abbott tells us, ‘in Australia, we treat people with respect’. Of course, the level of respect individuals receive correlates with how closely they resemble a straight, white male. But, to put it bluntly, Australia should be pretty chuffed that it’s one of the few G20 countries who said ‘no thanks’ to electing politicians who openly seek to make things harder for those with the least agency. 

If humanity is to avoid eating its own tail, we must push back against the regressive tactics of scapegoating the other and bullying the disempowered. For better or worse, it’s critical we name and shame the ugliness that succours social discord.