Bionic enhancements queue

Bionic enhancements queue

Every time I go through airport security now the queue is longer.

I stow everything I can decently remove – belt, boots, earrings, finger rings, neck chains, phone – in the plastic tray with my jacket and scarf.

Through the scanner and setting off every alarm, I queue in the clearly signed Bionic Enhancements line. As I wait, I fill in the questionnaire, ticking the boxes for Hip Replacement and Teeth Implants, and run my finger down the list for knees, ankles, elbows, shoulders, wrists, corneas. Page 2: Heart, Kidney, Lung (R/L), Liver. Pacemaker, Insulin-Injection Pump. Note the growing inclusions for Full Hand, Full Limb (specify) etc. And of particular note, the section for admitting to Radio-Frequency ID Chip Implants.

This inclusion only made the list after the unfortunate incident involving an onboard security guard who inadvertently fired his smart gun after the gun misread his implant. I think They realised that we, the elderly, were unlikely to cause a terrorist-related incident with our new hips but, on the other hand, the RFID can do more than open doors, start car engines and log on to computers.

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